Trapped

Possibly last week I was going over some of my notes so that i could create a practice routine. My postuire was efficiently horrible, as it often is. I integrated some of the concepts all into the same process and then i was able to relax into my muscles and tendons, to the point that i could feel the individual muscles in my upper body. I could feel a fluid tingle, lightly coating each of them, which the chineese refer to as qi. While i could feel my muscles and tendons, i could as well feel my heartbeat pulsing throughout my body and my diaphram expanding and contracting. All the while my mind found a place even better than euphoria, and that was calm and peace.

Then next time i was able to relax correctly, I meditated down into my muscles while my hands were over my heart. My intent landed on my heart, being lead there by the beating i could now feel. Then suddenly, it was like my heart was bursting. It started to pump really fast and a heat spread throughout the area and out of my hands. My Xin(emotional mind) jumped a bit, but my yi(wisdom mind) simply and calmly moved my hands from my chest and pressed them together at the labor cavities in my palms where qi is pushed in and out. My heart started to slow down and the heat was contained through my hands. The heat left my hands and out of my body. It was pretty dank.

The last time i relaxed correctly was last night. My lower abdomen felt as if it were full of cramping air and pressure, so as i was relaxing, i placed my intent there, trying to relax all of that. What i came to find is what is referred to as starting the fire. That now familiar tingle started to spread out from the lower dan tian, spreading out and down. The tingle spread through the huiyin, to my ass, all through the middle, and through my external kidneys. I held this one longer than all the rest, until i was yanked out of it, back into reality. This morning my stomach felt like it had been holding tight all night.

There is no way to place the words i think without them coming back at me so i will leave this at that. Definitions? what is the definition of friend? next step closer to aquaintance i’d imagine. and a lover is the next step up from friend. My guess is an aquaintance is someone you work with but do not care about? A friend is someone you care about, but do not love or have sex with? A life partner is someone you love eternally(if such a thing exists)? Wonder where all of them went?

Trapt.